Friday, November 30, 2012

It's the Freakin Weekend

Since Feminist Friday came early this week, and since I'm up to my ears in Convention Planning at work, I will leave you with these 2 things...

Carly Rose Sonneclair and 5th Harmony. My two FAV acts from the X-Factor. Carly is totally going to win the entire thing. And 5th Harmony is awesome because they took 5 solo women with incredible voicces and put them together. They sound like angels.

Enjoy! and vote for them!










I hope you have a very relaxing weekend since I won't!!! <3


~~

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

This One Can't Wait Until Friday...


So I had a previous plan for Feminist Friday this week, but then my coworker, (who loves to push my buttons), sent me an article that flipped the script. And it just so happens that the message I want to convey with it is the perfect intro for what was going to be posted. So I will save the original for next time. 

If you so dare, read: 

I literally had to look at the author's name 3 times, and I STILL can't believe a woman wrote this. Excuse my French, but this is the biggest bunch of bullshit I have read in a LONG time. Just when I read a couple sentences that got me fired up and thought it couldn't get worse, it did. I'm so mad right now that I had to start blogging my reaction before I lost it.

I will share some excerpts and my knee-jerk reactions to them...

Venker starts off with some facts:

"Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees. The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women."

Agreed. The dynamic has obviously changed. From here, she just nose dives. 

"During this time, I’ve spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same.

Women aren’t women anymore."

Button pushed. Excuse me? Allow me to keep reading to see what you think "women" should be...

"In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs.

Now the men have nowhere to go."

I guarantee any men that know me or read this blog immediately thought, "That's Kali!" Sure, I may sound defensive and sound like I hate men, but I don't. (Most of that is just exaggeration for effect - sarcasm people.) But the truth is, men are great. I have many male friends, a boyfriend and father whom I love very much. I was not raised to hate men. I was raised to be a strong woman. There is a difference, Ms. Venker.

And what pedestal did we have that feminists convinced us against? Historically, we had no rights, couldn't vote, couldn't make any decisions in the family, were viewed as possessions who couldn't think for themselves, viewed as objects that were only good for sex, cleaning, and baby raising. Yea, Ms. Venker, that's really a pedestal I want to stand on. 

Here a revolutionary thought: How about we don't want to push men OFF the stage and take their place, we simply want to join them upon it and stand next to them as equals.

"But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?"

The ongoing battle of the sexes is absolutely women's fault. Agreed! We have been fighting to change gender roles for years and are still fighting! So yes, THAT is our fault. And I'm proud of it! But the dearth of good men? Please. My theory is if a man can't handle a strong, independent women, then they don't fall into the category of "good men", or as Venker puts it "marriageable men". If they were so ready to hop off that "pedestal" and think men and women can't be on the SAME level, then they are cowards in my book and who wants to marry that?

Side note: I know I haven't gotten as many male opinions as Ms. Venker has in all her research about this topic, but I have heard MANY men speak to the fact that they want a woman who is driven, ambitious, and can stand on her own two feet. A woman that doesn't love the man because she needs a roof over her head, but loves him because of WHO he is. 

"Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them."

What a crock of shit. Men: You can still support a family. We will "let" you. We just want to help you do so! What a crime! We don't want to compete, we want to coexist and cooperate.

"So if men today are slackers, and if they’re retreating from marriage en masse, women should look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they’ve played to bring about this transformation."

Again, if a man is a "slacker", he doesn't fall into the category of a "marriageable man", so that point is moot. 

"Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature – their femininity – and let men surrender to theirs.

If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork."

WOWWWW. Ms. Venker, are you writing this in your candy cane apron while you whisk pancake batter before you go rub your 300 pound husband's feet while he drinks a beer on the couch?????? 

Now, while I had to throw that jab in there, let me be clear. I don't think there is anything wrong with that! Contrary to what Ms. Venker believes, I am not wearing a bandanna and flexing my bicep. I think women can go bake a cake, but then also shoot some hoops, or have a beer and watch some football. YOU CAN  BE STRONG AND FEMININE. That is my main point in all of this. And I'm not just saying it because I love shoes and also am athletic. My point is you can be a strong, confident woman, believing that you can accomplish whatever you want, while still possessing female qualities (nurturing, compassionate, etc.) 

Ms. Venker seems to think surrendering to our "female nature" means letting men have the career and submitting ourselves to their will. WRONG, sister. WRONG. We can bring home the bacon and still wear a dress. And maybe we'll throw a blazer over it! GASP!

Am I biased? Abso-freaking-lutely. Which is why I wrote this  reaction in the first place. But trust me, I know there are women out there who agree with this article. It just makes my skin crawl. We are so much better than this and don't need people (especially women) trying to fault all the progress we have made.

I have a career. Many of my females friends do. We have professional goals and aspirations  But guess what, Ms. Venker? I also do the laundry. AND, wait for it, Tim does the dishes! (I hope she hasn't collapsed yet.) One of the most fundamental personality trends of women is cooperation and teamwork. So, forgive me for "surrendering" to my femininity and wanting to be part of a team in my relationship. And forgive me for finding a real man who can't only handle it, but appreciates it.


~~


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I am Thankful For...


I will be in the Wild, Wonderful West Virginia this weekend so I'm assuming my posting will be slacking. Since work was so crazy this week, I had limited time for posting.

If I miss Feminist Friday this week, forgive me! I have a good one in store for you next time, no worries.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, though, I will leave you with the things I am thankful for. Please excuse the corniness.



  • I am thankful to be alive. I am grateful for the opportunity to have life and make what I want out of it.
  • I am thankful for my family. No one is perfect but my parents come very close. Knowing I can call them at any time and that they would be there for me at a moment's notice is so comforting, and I know that is something many of us take for granted.
  • I am thankful for UK Basketball. They are so good and I was lucky to be raised a fan and call myself an Alumni! 

    Number 8!

  • I am thankful for my fun and fabulous friends who keep my life exciting. Who will do a victory dance with me on stage after we win a round of beer pong (see below).  I am also grateful for those close, dear friends like Mary, Amanda, Whitney, Jen and others who have stuck by me in the tough year that I recently had and truly helped to pull me through.
True Friendship

  • I am grateful to have a job that I enjoy and that challenges me. I know enjoying your job and getting great experiences is hard to come by, especially right out of college. So I hope to make the most of it while I'm here.
  • I am thankful that my boyfriend is as big of an animal lover as I am.
Muaha payback!

  • I am thankful that I have been fortunate throughout my life. (I don't like when people say they are "blessed" because that makes me think God blessed them with something but chose not to "bless" someone else with good things. I don't think that's the case.) But I am grateful that I have not ever experienced some true hardships in my life that others in less fortunate situations have come to call life.
  • I am grateful that my co-workers gave me the nickname "Kaliwood" for reasons like the photo below. A nickname that inspired a resurrection for my blog.


  • I am thankful that I was raised the way I was. Under other circumstances, I probably wouldn't have known the difference, but I'm glad that I was taught I can achieve anything I set my mind to, and that I shouldn't let anything stand in my way, or ever settle for second best. 


I hope you all have a very fun, filling, family and friend-filled, Thanksgiving!

~~

Friday, November 16, 2012

It's OK, We Know You're Not Perfect

On this "Feminist Friday" we are talking about job interviews. It's been so interesting for me going from the interviewee, to sitting in and interviewing potential interns. Seeing it from both sides has given me some interesting perspectives.




So, today I want to focus on that one dreaded question that is ALWAYS asked. You know the one: "What is your biggest weakness and how do you combat it?"

Why are we discussing this question today you might asked? Because my newest pet peeve is when the interviewee answers: "Well, I'm kind of a perfectionist, so I like to do everything myself and make sure it's perfect. So I guess I need to get better at delegating or working with a team."

What a crock of sh*t. You know what that translates to? "My weakness is that I'm too perfect. Which isn't really a weakness. So I just dodged your question and made myself look good in the process."

WRONG!

And you know why I can rant about this trend?? Because I WAS THAT GIRL! I won't lie to you. I've used that answer before when I was a novice interviewee. And I could tell it tasted like BS coming out of my mouth even then.

So today ladies, we put an end to this. Why? Because we sound like morons!

Before you go into an interview, think long and hard about this question. We all have weaknesses, so be honest with yourself and think of a couple of yours. The trick to this question is admitting a weakness, but then immediately telling the employer how you work hard everyday to combat that weakness.

Note: Stay away from unrelated or extreme weaknesses. Examples: "I always fall in love with assholes" (not related) or "I hate that I have to work to make money I wish I could just marry someone rich" (nothing can combat that attitude).

So once you think of your related weakness, think about a few ways that you try to counter-act that weakness so that it does not affect your professional life. Like I said, the employer doesn't expect you to be perfect. But they do expect a candidate to KNOW their flaws so that they can try to correct them. You can't fix something if you don't know it's broken.

So, I will leave you with my answer to this question so you can see what I'm getting at here. My weakness is that I have a poor memory. If I'm asked to recall details from events in the past, I have a hard time doing so. If it's not something I have done repetively, I probably can't remember how I did it last year. I will forget things people tell me in past conversations.

All of these things are VERY bad for an event planner. For us, it's all about the details. So, once I admit that to the employer, I then quickly follow it up with saying that I know this about myself. So, to combat this, I take thorough notes in meetings and while on conference calls. I write down processes so that the next year, I remember the steps. I mark dates a year in advance on my calendar so that I remember when to start that project next time. I have reminders pop up in my Outlook to remember tasks. I combat my poor memory with careful organization and scheduling.

Does this completely eliminate my weakness? No. I will always forget things. But, this stops it from affecting my work, and helps me be successful at what I do. And now, in interviews, I am not afraid to be honest.

So ladies, the moral of the story is, be honest in your interviews! We know you aren't perfect. No one is. So tell us the real deal. I think employers will appreciate your honest, thoughtful answer.

And I hope to never hear the dreaded, "Well I'm a perfectionist..." ever again!

~~

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Does That Make Me Weird?... Wednesday


"Does that make me weird" Wednesday! Just some tidbits that I find odd about myself. Good for hump day. (It's seriously only Wednesday????)


  • I dilute Gatorade when I drink it. About 2/3 Gatorade, 1/3 water.

  • Sometimes it's easier to prance in high heels than it is to walk in them. (See: Carrie Bradshaw)

  • I use to write the Advice Column for my high school newspaper. People would write their problems to "Pandora" and I would respond.

  • I call everything that's cute and cuddly, "boo-boo". Like the cats. And Tim.

  • I am strictly right handed, but I am more comfortable driving with my left hand.

  • I refuse to turn a Rascal Flatts song off the radio even if I'm not in the mood to hear it. I mean.. it's Rascal...

  • I prefer to drink room temperature water instead of ice cold water.

  • While I'm trying to fall asleep at night I go through an inventory of my clothes in my mind to try to think of what to wear the next day. Most times I fall asleep before I have the outfit complete.. sometimes I get lucky!

  • My favorite color is yellow but I probably only own 1 yellow item of clothing or accessory.

  • I eat boned chicken wings and pizza with a fork and a knife. I guess I eat almost everything with a fork and a knife...

Feel free to judge. What do you do that's weird?


Side note: When I was in Pittsburgh for a wedding, we went to this old Catholic church that had been converted into a brewery to join the rehersal dinner crew for some drinks. It was awesome. Huge church and the alter had been replaced with the brewing vats. I remember texting my Dad the following picture and saying: "Look we are drinking in an old Catholic church that's been converted to a brewery!" Dad's response: "Are you sure it's not still an active church?"


Haha gotta love the Catholics.

Going home Friday-Saturday this weekend to see the fam. So excited to see little Athena. She's getting so big and crawling! She'll be 1 on Jan 2nd. BAH!

~~

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I forgot to show you....

I just realized I forgot to share with you Tim and I's Halloween costumes! Our Halloween party night ended up being a bust because I got sick OUT OF NO WHERE. No, I wasn't intoxicated. I was getting ready to start the party, and got light-headed all of a sudden. This was followed by waves of nausea. So after 1 beer and trying to feel better, I was just a hot mess, so we left. BUT we did get to debut our costumes and they were a bunch of fun! So, see below my MY Little Pony costume (with my fellow ponies showing off our cutie marks), and Tim's costume: 50 Shades of Grey.





Tehe. I felt like a paint swatch thief taking all of those from Home Depot! But oh well! Have a good day lovelies!

~~

If You're Sick of Political Opinions, Don't Read This

I'm trying to hold my tongue today, I really am. So I'm not Obama-bashing on Facebook or commenting like crazy on political posts. But, this is my blog, this is strictly for my opinion, so I will use it today to just get this off my chest.

There is no doubt that I disagree with BOTH candidates on certain things. Do I think Romney would get into office and fix all of America's problems in 4 years? No. Do I think another 4 years of Obama will move our country in the right direction? No.

So, I will just share my two biggest points of concern with the results of last night. And, as I said, this is more for me to get my thoughts out of my head. So feel free to click out of this blog and not read any further if you don't want to know them. 

1. I am a STRONG believer in working hard to achieve financial success in life. I was raised to be independent and taught that I should always be able to support myself and be proud of my career successes. I also think this is what America was built on. Hard work and dedication is rewarded to those who choose that path. That being said, I don't think it's fair for me to bust my ass at work everyday when a good portion of my paycheck goes to people who are too lazy to look for a job and are just living off the system.

Now, I realize there are cases where people are physically or mentally unable to work or have legitimate reasons for needing welfare and other government help. But, there are MANY people abusing the system and so MY hard earned money is paying for their rent, cars, and probably their drug addiction. I'm not OK with that. I think under Obama this will just get worse. It comes down to our fundamental beliefs of the government's responsibility. Obama has more of a socialist view, thinking it's the government's job to help everyone out no matter what. I believe people should help themselves and shouldn't receive help if they are not deserving.

Also, increasing handouts is not going to incentive people to work. If i was unemployed and kept getting more gov money for sitting on my ass, would I want to go out and get a job? Probably not. 

I want a government who encourages people to get a job and work hard. And one that rewards those who have been working their whole lives to make something for themselves. Like my father has done. And like I plan to do.

2. I'm not well versed on the Obamacare issue. BUT, I do have a concern. If every single person has rights to health care now, apparently it will negatively affect those of us who work to pay for insurance. This is related to the above topic. However, this hits close to home with my grandpa getting older, and my parents now in their 60's. If, heaven forbid, something were to happen to one of my family members and we were unable to get care, I would lose it. I'm not saying my family's lives are more important than someone elses, but, again, if my father has been working his entire life and religiously paying for medical insurance, it's going to really suck if he doesn't get care because there are so many people in front of him taking advantage of the free health care. 

Hopefully, this is a non issue for me. I do hope that. But it WILL be an issue. Maybe for your family. Maybe for your friend's family. It breaks my heart thinking about how unfair this could be.


So there you have it. My two biggest fears for the next four years. 

I read an article a while back that wasn't about the election but that I feel is very relevant. It said that my generation (20-25 year olds) have a new feeling of compassion and "all for one, one for all" feeling. It goes along with the green movement and just general acceptance of all people. Kind of "hippie" if you will. This is going to make it really hard for a republican to get elected anytime in the near future. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about gender/race/sexual orientation equality. I like the way that is headed, for sure. But, I'm just not as big on the other parts. But, looks like I may be in the minority on this one. This just makes me wish that we could have a candidate who is somewhere in the middle. Maybe conservative with taxes and government spending, but more liberal with social issues. That would be ideal for me.

Hoping for the best for these next 4 years! No more political posts from me, don't worry! :)

~~


Sunday, November 4, 2012

We (Almost) Adopted a Dog

Meet this adorable little guy:




We named him Arian. But we didn't take him home with us. I shall explain...

Tim and I were out today running some errands. We stopped in PetSmart to get cat food and (of course!) they were doing an adopt event with the Lexington Humane Society. We were browsing all the dogs and came across this Hound Mix. His colors were too cool to ignore. He was a 5 month old sweetie. Tim was being nonchalant about it, saying if you want him, get him. Well, that wasn't going to fly with me considering this was going to be a team effort and it would be at his house! Basically, Tim loves animals and wants a dog eventually, so he was game if I was totally set on it. But I was torn.

So we left and ran another errand to Target across the street. As we are walking through the isles Tim is saying how cute that dog was and how he would name his "Arian" after Arian Foster of the Texans (his favorite team). I literally started tearing up because now that floppy earred, tail-wagging little guy had a name! I was SO stressed going back and forth and being so indecisive. I wanted to rescue this puppy so terribly bad, but was it the right time? Were we prepared?

We started talking about what we would do with him while we were at work and what we would do about traveling. We even went BACK to PetSmart after Target to ask some questions about him before they closed. On the way home, Tim again said it was my decision.

So I've been sitting here trying to make a decision and I finally have. We aren't going to adopt little Arian (Benny is his current name). As much as I love dogs and want to get him out of there, I am a firm believer that pet adoption cannot be an impulse buy. You have to be prepared for it. I know from experience owning a dog and dog sitting for a year, that dogs are a lot harder than you think. Especially puppies. Thinking I could potty train a puppy as winter is approaching and when we are so busy is not realistic. And then, it's not fair to the dog.

I hated when people I knew in college apartments would adopt a dog on a whim and then always have to give it up or pawn it off on a family member. Adopting a dog is a forever thing to me so I want to go in prepared, and knowing that we are ready. Looking back now, I definitely made the right decision. ((Inner logic screaming: "You just moved in together! Pump the breaks, girlfriend!!"))

Anyway, the moral of this story is, if you are an animal lover and want to get a new pet, PLEASE make sure you do you research first and make sure you realistically prepare yourself and your family. Secondly, PLEASE PLEASE rescue an animal! There are AWESOME dogs and cats at your local humane society. Don't pay an outrageous amount for a pure bred dog. Save a life!

I hope Benny/Arian goes to a great home. He's a great dog so I'm sure he will. Our time will come, and when it does, I'll be sure to share with you guys!

~~

After posting this blog, I got a related email from Dad. Please read below for a laugh!


Kali,

From our phone conversation last night, I think you might consider the following points about a dog -

1.       Someone will always have to get home to leave the dog out, and someone will have to pick up the dog logs (something that you have never done except when being paid!)

2.       Someone will always have to walk the dog, even on cold or rainy nights (again, something that you have never done except when being paid!)

3.       When you go on a trip you will have to board the dog in kennel or convince one of your friends to watch the dog (and pick up the dog logs)

4.       Do not think that we would be able to babysit the dog, Levi doesn’t even like us living in the same house, much less another dog.

That being said, if you decide to get a dog, please get one friendly and smarter than Levi, that should not be hard to do!

Call me tonight and let me know what you decide to do.

Dad



He cracks me up. Best. Dad. Ever.

~~