I hope you all are ready for this one. I finally convinced the one and only Tim to write a guest post for me. Now, I know you all are use to seeing blogger boyfriends post about how adorable and creative their girlfriend is. Well, Tim is dry, sarcastic, and hilarious. Hope you can handle it! :) Enjoy....
10 Things Women Should Know About Football Season.. From Men
This is something your 85 year old secretary at work does because she raised 10 kids and was always cooking or cleaning. Times have changed and women are more involved in sports than ever before. Take the time to do some research and find a team that you like.
2. Don’t wear a pink jersey to look cute on game day.
Watching football isn’t about being cute and trying to make all the other women in the room jealous that you have a “stylish” Steelers jersey. To everyone else you look like you’re trying way too hard and don’t really care about the game.
3. We all know that Michael Vick is an asshole because he fought and killed dogs.
This happened six years ago and Vick has served his time in prison. Since getting out Vick has volunteered in his community and hasn’t been in trouble with the law. No one is going to agree with what he did but bringing it up every time the Eagles play is getting tiresome…which brings me to number 4.
4. Everyone knows Aaron Hernandez is in jail awaiting trial for murder.
This topic has been discussed and written about at great lengths since his arrest. Don’t think you’re bringing breaking news to the table by bringing it up Week 1. ESPN has ran it into the ground almost as much as their daily coverage of Tim Tebow’s bowel movements. Try to limit Hernandez talk to any new developments during the season.
5. If you’re watching the game pay attention to what’s going on.
Nothing is more annoying than watching a game with someone’s wife or girlfriend and hearing them ask who has the ball, what just happened, or what the score is. My girlfriend’s mom is notorious for this and we constantly have to pause, rewind, or explain the last play. I’ve contemplated suicide during several of these instances.
6. Nobody cares how hot Tom Brady is or how great the players look in their uniforms.
Save these discussions for times when you’re with your friends and no heterosexual males are around. The last thing guys want to hear during the review of a game winning TD is “OMG whose butt is that near the bottom of the pile? It’s amazing!!!”
7. Don’t ask if the game can be changed to Too Cute Puppies during commercials.
During the fall weekends are for football and there is always another game on another channel. A commercial is the perfect time to switch to the other game and see how bad the Bears are getting their asses kicked by the Packers. It’s not the time to watch Sandy, the Labradoodle mom, teach her puppy Flower how to swim.
8. Don’t have your boyfriend draft your fantasy football team and then get mad when you don’t win.
Listen ladies your husband/boyfriend is probably in at least three fantasy football leagues of his own. Being in multiple leagues is a full time commitment and the last thing he wants to do is manage your team too. Sure you sound really cool saying you play fantasy football but when you don’t know anything about your team your street cred goes right out the window. I’m all for women being in fantasy sports but you need to know enough to manage your own team.
9. We can all form our own opinions about the cheerleaders.
Every guy likes it when the game cuts to the cheerleaders. I think we can all agree that while there are always a few good looking ones there are also ones that look like they’re coming off a meth high. Hearing you rip on them for being trashy skanks with several STD’s makes you sound like the girl that got cut from the cheerleading squad.
10. Finally, don’t hate on your guys team just to do it.
If you’re a casual fan with no allegiance to a team don’t talk about how bad your guy’s team is because you have no argument to back it up. If you’re a Bengals fan and your boyfriend is a Steelers fan then feel free to let him know how bad they are and how creepy, aka “rapey”, Ben Roethlisberger is.
Check out his fantasy sports blog: RotoAgent